Slowlearner

Well it's been an interesting few days. Mr Hairy and I were out on Saturday night with some friends and for the first time EVER, we thought we would trust the teenager and her brother on their own as we were local. Then the boy got himself invited to a sleepover and the teenager decided that she didn't want to be on her own, so we had to ship in a pal for her. All ended up OK and apart from the restaurant running out of Malbec, all was good.

I was out again last night, at a candle buying extraviganza, I didn't buy candles, but I did drink wine and eat mince pies, so a successful evening, until I got home that is.

Mr Hairy and the teenager were 'in discussion'. (I knew something was wrong when I came home to find them both in the same room...)

The teenager turns on me immediately, I am not ready, senses have been dulled by pastry and Shiraz. 'Why does the internet have to go off at 10pm?' (We have one of those Home Hub things that allows to you control the internet of different devices.)
"Well you go to bed a 10, so you don't need it on after that anyway."
"All my friends have internet on all the time."
"How do you know that?"
"Because they post and send messages and I can't see them til the morning."
"Well that is precisely why we turn it off at 10. We don't want you sending or responding to messages after then,"
"But all my friends do. I just want to be treated like my friends."
"Well everyone's circumstances are different. Perhaps they are not on the internet so much at other times. By 10 o'clock, you have had enough internet time."
Teenager, stomps off, slamming the door repeating the 'treated like my friends' statement.
I flick over to Live at the Apollo and enjoy Catherine Ryan. The Shiraz is doing it's job well.

At 10, I go up to the teenagers room, to find the teenager, lying in bed, face like thunder. My hair straighters, taken from my room earlier without permission, still sitting on her bedside cabinet. (The teenager is anal about people borrowing her stuff without asking...). "I asked you to return those to my room", I say. "Forgot", comes the reply. A single word loaded with so much hatred, it's impressive. I take the hair straighteners, her phone, wish her goodnight and go downstairs. My normal routine, is to plug her phone in for her, to charge overnight.

This morning I had to be up and out early for a doctors appointment to discuss menopause, coils and a weird skin thing on my side...FUN! I hear the teenager going downstairs before the dulcet tones ripple up the stairwell, "My phone's not been plugged in!"
"Really? Must have forgot."

I heard at a meeting today it takes 10,000 hours to be come expert at something. By my reckoning I have done over 122,000 hours of parenting.Why am I still so poor?

Who is the Tall Yellow Bird?

Excellent question, yes I am tall, no I am not yellow and yes I am a bird. A term that I think has been reclaimed by quirky, kooky women, hurrah! OK, here I am, blogging. I am not new to blogging, I have been doing it for my business for years, but I am new to this type of blogging. Writing about me...so why start now?

Well several reasons, firstly I have been reading other Mum's blogs and some of them are really rather good, (I wish they had been around when I had my kids...) but most seem to be for Mum's with young kids, and mine are not.

I am also at a turning point in my life and that, to be honest is the catalyst.

In short I have less than 6 months of my 40s left, 5 months and 19 days to be precise, (not that I am counting) and I have a lot to say about that....and other stuff that women of my age have to deal with.

The other stuff includes, but is not limited to...

•  a lovely (if slightly grumpy and increasingly hairy) husband
• 2 children, a teenage girl Charlotte and an 11 year old boy James
• a fluffy, mad dog called Murray (and yes, he was named after Andy, but not because we are die hard fans, because we bought him the day Andy Murray won Wimbledon)
• 2 businesses, one 10 years old and pretty successful, the other new and a completeshot in the dark.

Aside from that, I run, I play a bit of piano, I drink (wine, coffee and water, that is quite literally it) and generally try to be a good human being. I skid along from job to job, mini crisis to mini crisis just like everyone else, giving the appearance of someone in complete control when really, I am seriously winging it!

In short, I often feel like I have no idea what is going on and what I should do. My own children's life is so far removed from my own at the same age, I don't feel if offers me much, if any guidance. Am I fretting about stuff that I need not fret about or am I too casual about stuff I should be fetting about? I have no fucking idea.

Which leads me to my lovely friends, of which I have many. Firstly, my friends are a pretty diverse bunch. Many haven't reached my point in life yet and many have long forgotten it, others circumstances are quite different. The rest I think are as clueless as me (and I mean that with the utmost respect and affection). They say stuff and I think 'What!' I would be freaking!! and they look and me sometimes in exactly the same way. So what can we derive from that? Well, that we all have difference standards, based on our experiences, upbringing, morals and circumstances. What is right for one woman, is not necessarily right for another. So if I hope for anything from this blog, it is that we have the opportunity to share, comment and offer support/advice, in a non-judegmental way. Try to make some sense of the utter chaos that most of us deal with on a daily basis and have a bit of fun along the way.

Who's with me?
Sarah
The Tall Yellow Bird